


scenes from fanfics i'll never write

by pxlarity



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Coming Out, Friendship, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:15:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23939005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pxlarity/pseuds/pxlarity
Summary: It's exactly like the title says. I have too many bits and pieces of fics in my google docs that I never got around to continuing, so hopefully you'll be able to enjoy them like this!
Relationships: Rafael "Rafinha" Alcântara & Marc-André ter Stegen
Kudos: 6





	scenes from fanfics i'll never write

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marc is the first person to find out that Rafa is gay.
> 
> Scene from "Ally", a fic where Marc accidentally finds out about Rafa's sexuality and realizes things about himself along the way.

Marc Andre Ter-Stegen has no fucking idea how he ended up in a gay club. 

Or actually, he does.

His German friends are visiting him in Barcelona and he’s pretty much the only one who knows any Catalan. So in hindsight, letting one of his friends choose a club was definitely not the best of ideas. Literally none of them realized the nature of the club when they first walked in. To their defense, they had already been drinking in a couple of bars before this, so they were half-drunk at that point. It’s only after they sit on the bar-stools that they realize that most, if not all of the couples dancing, drinking, or flirting there were same sex couples. They look at each other confusedly for a while, then they laugh because how fucking stupid they were. They didn’t really mind it, but it’s just not what they were looking for.The group apologizes to the bartender and begins to make their way out.

It’s on his way out that Marc’s gaze strays towards the dance floor. It’s filled with bodies and they’re all dancing around each other in a very sensual way. He doesn’t make much of it until his eyes meet a pair of eyes from the lively crowd. What surprises him is that he recognizes them.

“Rafa?” Marc asks, more to himself than to anyone because he knows Rafa can’t hear him from all the way across the club.

Rafa looks absolutely terrified. 

For a second, Rafa freezes up on the dance floor. The music plays on and the colorful lights move on Rafa’s face almost in slow motion. It feels like a movie, like a scene from a biopic that would win an oscar. Rafa snaps back into the present and pushes his dancing partner back, saying something to him before he slips through the crowd. Marc doesn’t know what to do but stays still, watching as Rafa makes his way towards him. His friends didn’t stop when he did, all of them still walking towards the exit.

When Rafa makes it to him, he stands in front of Marc, looking up to him with eyes full of fear and uncertainty. It’s clear that whatever he’s going to say, he’s not ready to say it. And that makes Marc feel like the worst person on earth.

“Marc,” Rafa starts to say, “this is not what it looks like.”

His tone is defensive and careful. Rafa looks directly into Marc’s eyes, making sure that the German’s attention is only on him. It makes him feel like they’re the only two people in the extremely loud and crowded club. Then a guy, the guy Rafa was dancing with suddenly steps into the conversation even though he was clearly uninvited.

“What's this _princesa_?” the guy says in a way that Marc finds incredibly smug and annoying. “Is this your boyfriend? Are you cheating on him perhaps? How naughty.”

Marc says nothing because he doesn’t know what this guy means to Rafa, but he’s glad to find out that Rafa seems to dislike him just as much. Rafa glares at him and says, “Shut the fuck up, okay.”

The guy shuts his mouth, but doesn’t leave them alone. Rafa’s attention is immediately back on Marc. He stammers out, “Marc, I- I can explain this. I-”

“This pretty boy was grinding on me but didn't want to tell me his name,” the guy says, interrupting them again. “So man, if you're mad at him for cheating on you, I'll gladly take him off of your hands. He's phenomenal on the dance floor. The way he moves his hips and all. So I'm sure he's just as phenomenal in-”

The guy tries to slide his arm around Rafa’s waist, but Rafa pushes him away roughly.

Rafa looks like he’s at his limit, anger replacing his initial panicked expression. “Fuck off! He isn't my boyfriend and he's the one I'm talking to. Not you, go back and find someone else, asshole.”

“Jeez, calm down _princesa_. I was just complimenting you,” the guy huffs, completely missing Rafa’s point. “If you're done with your boyfriend, you know where to find me. I'll comfort you real good.”

The guy winks at Rafa as he walks away and Marc finds it incredibly vile. It’s clear that Rafa is done with him, yet he still has the guts to tell Rafa to find him again. Marc wonders why someone like Rafa would even associate himself with someone like that. With someone who talks about him like he’s a piece of meat instead of a human being. 

“Fuck you!” Rafa shouts at the guy.

Marc is used to hearing Rafa curse, it happens a lot when he’s joking around with Neymar, but he’s never heard it in an actual aggressive tone. It’s understandable, because Marc has also been thinking of punching that guy on the face. It doesn’t matter to Marc that Rafa, considering his presence in a gay club, likes guys. But really, he deserves someone better than a guy who treats him like that.

When Rafa finishes glaring at the guy to make sure he goes back to the dance floor, he looks back at Marc, looking exhausted. He sighs and says, “Let's get out of here, first.”

Marc nods. “I'll tell my friends to go ahead.”

“Okay, thanks.”

Rafa is usually the more talkative one between the two of them, so it’s weird to see him speak so little words. The Brazilian looks like he’s in deep thought as they walk towards the exit. Marc walks out of the club and finds his friends standing around, probably on their phones to find another club. After a decent amount of bar-hopping, going to a club was supposed to be the height of their night after all.

“Hey,” Marc calls out to his friends. 

One of them nods at him. “What took you so long?”

“Something came up,” Marc says, rubbing his nape. “You guys go ahead. I'll catch up.”

They all look at him, confused. One of them begins to ask, “What? Marc are you-”

And for some reason, Marc just says no. Denies it. Before his friend even finishes the question. It’s like he already knows what they’re going to ask. “No, no. I saw an old friend there. I didn't even know he was- yeah, I just want to catch up with him a bit.”

“Alright,” his friends say, unsure. “Call us later, okay?””

Marc just nods as his friends start walking away from the club, one of them pointing directions towards another club. Not long after, Rafa peaks from behind the exit door.

“Are they gone?” he asks, looking around.

Marc watches as his friends disappear around a corner at the far end of the block. “Yeah, they've gone ahead to the next club.”

Rafa sighs in relief before he walks out of the exit, looking extremely nervous and uncomfortable. Even under the rather dim street lights, Marc manages to get a better look at Rafa than inside the club. It’s clear that he’s been dancing, the heavy sweating a clear evidence. He’s sharply dressed, as per usual. Rafa’s wearing a simple black tee, dark grey pants, and some white shoes. There’s also sunglasses clipped on the collar of his tee. And suddenly, it almost feels like they’ve just been celebrating a win together with their teammates.

Like nothing has changed.

But Marc has just accidentally found out what’s probably Rafa’s biggest secret, so _something_ has clearly changed.

“So I guess there's no point in trying to cover it up anymore huh?” Rafa asks, avoiding Marc’s eyes and tapping his foot.

Marc doesn’t really know what to say, instead gesturing towards Rafa to do as he pleases. “I mean…”

Rafa takes a deep breath, his eyes closed.

“I like guys,” Rafa says as he looks up to Marc. “I’m gay.”

It’s not like it’s surprising, considering he just saw Rafa in a gay club. 

“Oh, I- well, I guessed so,” Marc says, for the lack of better words.

“You guessed so?”

“I mean, after I just saw you in there. I didn’t expect it before, but, you know,” Marc stammers out, fearing that he’d say the wrong thing.

“Nobody knows,” Rafa says, looking down bitterly. “Not my siblings, not my parents, not my friends, no one. Well, except the people I’ve- been with.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to- you know, find out.”

Rafa shakes his head. He still looks nervous, distracted. “Don’t apologize, it’s not your fault. Someone was bound to figure out anyway. I’m just glad it’s not the media first.”

“Right,” Marc says, clearing his throat. “You go here, or uh, to places like these a lot?” 

Rafa looks at him and sighs. “No, I don’t even go to clubs that often. And I always change the place I go to every time. I don’t want the media to find out, clearly.”

“Right, I guess you wouldn’t want to be outed.”

“Obviously,” Rafa says. His eyes are on Marc, but his fists are clenched tightly and he’s tapping his feet in a very specific pattern. Rafa’s trying really hard not to show it but he’s still- not okay about this. “It’s just my luck that I somehow met you.”

Maybe he’s doing it because he doesn’t want Marc to feel bad, but the fact that Rafa is still thinking about his feelings in the midst of this just makes him feel even worse. Marc can’t say that he’s good with these kinds of situations. He’s never been in a situation like this to begin with. 

“It’s-“ Marc begins to say. He was just about to say ‘it’s going to be okay’, but it feels wrong. It must be easy for him to say that, but for Rafa it’s going to be a struggle. Being a gay footballer isn’t an easy thing to do. “No, I’m not going to tell you it’s okay. Because clearly this is something big for you and it’s not going to be easy and- what I’m trying to say is-“ Marc sighs at his inability to form sentences and looks at Rafa, hoping that his point comes across well enough. “I won’t tell anyone. I’ll keep this secret for as long as you want. And I’ll support you, in any way I can, in any way you want me to.”

Marc wants to sigh in relief when Rafa smiles at him. “Thank you,” Rafa says as his gestures begin to seem less hectic. He bites his lips, perhaps too hard, because Marc sees visible marks there. “I don’t want anyone to know, yet. To be honest with you, I don’t know how long I can keep this up. My friends and families are constantly asking me why I haven’t been with anyone in such a long time.”

“Ever since I realized, I couldn’t possibly date girls anymore. It’d be unfair for them.”

“And for you too, Rafa,” Marc reminds him because it’s so Rafa-like to put others first before himself.

“I guess,” Rafa says, shrugging like it’s a second thought. “I just- my family’s religious. A lot of my friends are too. I don’t even know how some of my friends and teammates feel about gay people.” His anxiety really shows as he talks and Marc can’t imagine how afraid Rafa must be of his friends and family turning against him the moment they find out. Then Rafa adds with a bitter laugh, “And not to mention the media and fans. It’s just a recipe for disaster, isn’t it?”

Marc is quiet for a moment, genuinely trying to take it all in. “I can’t say I get it. I’ve liked girls all my life and obviously that’s what people think is normal or whatever. People are stupid like that. You’re not wrong for just… being you.”

Rafa nods and there’s a sad smile on his face. “I know I’m not wrong, but there’s a whole lot of people who think I am and really, that’s 99% of the problem, isn’t it?” He closes his eyes and shakes his head. “But it’s nice,” he says, using his hands to gesture. “When I used to date girls, I could hold their hands and kiss them in public, but now?”

Rafa laughs sadly.

He’s been doing a lot of that tonight and while Marc likes it when Rafa laughs, he doesn’t really like it when he’s doing it in this particular way.

“I’m sorry. People can be really cruel, huh?”

Rafa nods, again with that bitter expression on his face. “Football fans even more so. Especially when it comes to LGBT related issues.” He takes a deep breath and says, “You know, I saw a post the other day on Instagram. About the Premier League supporting the LGBT community and so on with rainbow equipment and everything and man, the comments…” 

“They were, not nice, to say the least.”

“I’m so sorry Rafa, I know it must be difficult for you. So if you ever need to talk about it, since I already know, you can talk to me,” Marc says as sincerely as he possibly can, because he knows Rafa needs it. When Rafa takes a moment to respond, Marc asks lightheartedly, “I am your friend, right?”

And Marc doesn’t exactly know why, but that’s the moment where Rafa bursts into tears.

Not knowing any better thing to do, Marc pulls him into a hug. It’s not positioned quite right and in turn, looks kind of awkward, but it really is done out of sheer concern and love for his friend. Rafa sobs into his shoulders and Marc finds that he barely cares if his shirt’s ruined for the night. He’s just glad that Rafa is opening up to him a bit, showing his more vulnerable side. God knows all of this hasn’t been and will not be easy for Rafa. He hopes that Rafa knows that he will at least, always have Marc.


End file.
